“First Kiss at a Spooky Soiree” Review

Introduction

When a cockney editor was asked what his readers found most appealing in an illustration, he said: ”Babies with an ’eartthrob, animals with an ’eartthrob, and what you might call sex.“ The advice is solid, but outdated. Nowadays the advice would be “girls acting cute, furries acting cute, and all done in one of your animes.” But only if you’re appealing to those types of blokes; The New Yorker has yet to grasp the furry – anime dynamic.

Why not? Because it’s like marijuana: it’s the future, no matter who goes against it. Well, that’s not a fair comparison, it’s more like cocaine. Crack cocaine. Something that slaps you in the face and leaves you a twitching spasm on the ground, gyrating and foaming all over the place until you’re the raw distillation of everything the artist wants you to be, just another empty husk a victim of the catgirls oh my nyas~

If you haven’t gotten bored of the first two paragraphs, you’re the type of person to enjoy this little visual novel — “little” putting it diplomatically. It’s short. Real short. It was shorter a few months ago until it got updated with a doggirl, too. And it’s gay. It’s gay gay gay gay really really gay gay. Okay, fine, bisexual. You could tell from the first scene and could keep telling forever after. There’s a crossdressing boy or two. It’s what the artist does — an asexual girl who likes girls. You gotta love it!

Have a gay old time

This novel really is the future. Not because it’s so revolutionary that everybody has to bow down to it, but because it’s… the future. It has an art style that has been slowly stomping its way to the gates of culture and is waiting for an opening so they can all leak in. It has lesbians (oh my) and furries (oh nyas) and everyone is gay gay gay and so on. The artist appears totally sincere in doing all of that; a shame they’re stuck on Tumblr, where game devs go to die. 200 notes a post is criminal for an artist. She should take out a print ad in her local newspaper. “Do you love cats? As in, love – love?” Or maybe she likes dogs. Hmm…

I can’t help but feel all the gayness gets lost in translation a little. It’s special to see two blokes in Edmonton kissing; not so much in Vancouver. The expected squee is delivered, but through my eyes half – closed and with a coy grin. When you only have a few minutes to tell a story, you can’t put in any stops — which is why the relationships felt rushed. Like I say — crack cocaine. Direct – injection drugs for those who love being gay gay gay, and I love being gay gay gay (fine, bisexual), though I liked it a bit more in Mass Effect where it took you a while to be gay gay gay instead of having it thrust upon you, but then this is the future of our culture, and I admire it very much for it being that way. Do you inject coke?

It’s the future in the art style, where we’re seeing less artists pussy – foot around and start delivering the goods. They’re going to be bold, and they’re going to be brash, and they’re going to shed off the pastels in favour of flats and outlines. The theme is also the future. My transgendered friends are getting more and more prominent; seeing as what’s supposed to be the first world is getting more segregated, more discriminatory, and more likely to go out in a bang instead of a whimper, I’m proud of them for existing without fear. Same for the queers and the racially disadvantaged. None for the religious — they want me dead for being a queer.

Conclusion

The novel? You get what you expect. Two girls walk in, one girl walks out, because they were hugging and are considered a single entity for censur purposes. You get a variety of personalities, despite that you never see social outcasts at the parties I go to — and I just realised that makes me the outcast. You get kuudere, dandere, nerdere, furdere, whatever the moth is, and a boy who likes Disgaea, I mean Demon’s Souls, I mean Donkey Kong 64. Let me repeat: everyone is gay and this is totally normal. I want to live in this world. Also, everybody is quicker to please than what you might find in an orgy. That sweetens the deal.

There’s no porn here — don’t get your hopes up. But I don’t judge porn because it immediately and naturally falls back onto what you find attractive. I get the feeling I’m reviewing somebody’s fetish fuel, where I landed in the right demographic and everybody else is alienated. I don’t have a problem with that, as every piece of art is targeted towards somebody, but it makes rating the thing a pain because it’s targeted so heartily towards someone like me that I don’t know if anybody else can get some use out of it.

It’s nothing you can have removed from your life and feel like something was seriously lost. But I found a new artist I admire — one competent in writing, developing, art, and more, a jack of all trades, and a rare breed. I cannot wait for her to enjoy mastery out of but one of these fields, and though I can’t claim to be a master of writing, I will say I am good at it, and I pray that she becomes as good. If you’re interested in entering our little worlds where everything is gay gay gay, come on in. You might like it. Otherwise, you can miss out.