“GUN☆CAT” Review

Introduction

Pikopik, it’s time to stop. You’ve been making these good – looking games too often and for too long. In the first place, you’re going to get burnt out. In the second place, I’m tired of talking about potential when these games cross my feed like the rabbits cross my backyard — perks of being Canadian. They are short, to be sure, and they can even be good and charming, like I was all bright – eyed when I reviewed Idra and the Little Fish and took a week to remember Idra’s name. But what about me? What is the poor reviewing supposed to do when he is starved?

I wanted to play Pip Sweep, a game where you have to unlock an entire planet to find the secret treasure inside — wait, isn’t this the plot of Borderlands? I wouldn’t know, as the glove detection buggered out on my build and alternated between getting its big, meaty mitt in my face, and dopily going out into space. I could have entertained myself by doing the Nazi salute over and over again, because I’m thirteen, but I could only chalk it up to something being wrong with the Linux build. Come on, Unity. Everyone knows the Nazis are with FreeBSD.

Beyond having the ending spoiled in the comments by saying the world is hollow (thanks, Lumps), I also saw a statue of That Hecking Cat, the same one I got stuck on in Idra (thanks Pikopik). Yes, it’s the Gun’s☆CAT, who does not look like any discernable pedigree and so ruins my obscure knowledge of cat breeding. She’s a cat… she’s got Gun’s. And I was thinking to myself the brilliant old time of reviewing this also short game and reviewing it based on its potential.

The vicious cycle refuses to end. At least we get Gun’s.

The Gun’sbrasters

You are unceremoniously dumped into a barely – textured level in space. How does she survive without a suit? I found a plot hole! Nurse! The tutorial tells you how to jump and shoot, because I’m three, though it it didn’t tell you that there was no checkpoints, and so pratfalling off the level or getting knocked out by the overpowered enemies is no longer an option. At least it makes fodder for the Lets Players to scream at having done something mildly inconvenient. Why are they popular, again?

Combat is a toss – up between the controls of a top – down shooter and the glorious three – dimension space afforded by twenty years worth of gaming technology and also Unity. I am grateful to the developer for not making me constantly click my mouse button. Being only three years of age, I am quite old, and I do not want to develop arthritis in my tiny baby hands. Indeed, I am forced to dictate my thoughts to my scribe for having stubby fingers. I would use a text – to – speech program, but they are all proprietary… is there a single review I can write without using the p – word? Of course not, because this is an imperfect world and spying on the disabled is considered a fair business.

One goes through the level and tries not to get booted off the level so they can complete the level and therefore the game. You may boot yourself off the level if you inappropriately use the Gun’s with big knockback, which would not occur if one had followed the mandatory firearm guidelines of having a muzzle velocity of less than 495 kilometres per hour. Of course they are used for purely recreational purposes, which is why the final boss took so long to take down. It turns out objects designed to kill what they are pointed at are a bit of a pansy about doing it.

Conclusion

I had more fun that I should have with this, all is typical of autists, which is mostly due to be bouncing around with my illegal firearms. I felt quite ill trying to get through the level, due to how unforgiving it is, but seeing as there is only one level and the ending was disappointing, I felt some sense of satisfaction for not having any expectations to break. Disappointing in the sense that there isn’t anything, for instance, like the ending to Snake Eater. I mean the real ending, not the fake one where you shoot a gay cat in the Gun’sbrastership.

Can you skip it? Yes. These types of games are more a testament to the dogged determination of the developer to keep them coming. They are portfolio pieces to show off someone with a good degree of skill, as well as whoever they managed to hire to create the work as well. For a blatantly furry developer, I am disappointed there is not as much concept art of their work and characters, and by “concept art,” I mean blatantly furry fanservice. Come on, Pikopik. You can make good money doing that.

I am not sure what type of game will come out of this prototype… given the developer inserts the Gun’s Cat statue into their work, always in a way that introduces some new bug, then it is sure to be a very buggy game indeed. Don’t cats eat bugs? Or do they shoot them? With their Gun’s?

Listen, I can make this reference my entire life.