I have spent the last year writing over 600,000 words. I cannot say how I did it; I can say though that it took me a long journey to do such a thing. I have become a better person. This article chronicles the rise of the most famous Froge. ☞
Kratzen happens to be an experiment, like all that I do. For though it is an experiment that provides great opportunity, I must look at the good it does me, and see if it’s worth keeping. Is it? It’s articles like these which find out. ☞
Having played this game for ninety minutes, I have rarely felt so empty. I want to like it. The practicality is I cannot. Its issues are fundamental and it is not engaging at all. I expected something and got, oddly and sadly, nothing. ☞
After a long and silly absence, here’s a short and silly review. It’s about a gun. The gun clones you. Does this sound interesting to you? Well, at least it looks nice. Not nice as in the last review nice, but decent. And that’s all that matters. ☞
One asks the question if a good world is good enough. Whether the aesthetics of a game makes up for the game itself. As art evolves, we realise there is more to games than base desires such as dopamine-drugging fun. But is this art? ☞
If you ever wanted to play a clicker game, but only one that lasts for ten minutes, here you go! It’s also real cute, but in the artificial way. Want completely average work? Want a force – feeding birthing fetish? I’m not judging. ☞
A heartwarming and authoritative work on the distribution of automatic weaponry, an intelligent look at cannabis throughout history, and how memes affect international politics to create new shifts in the geopolitical theater. ☞
Rather than make an ironic and depreciating joke about the Weed Day, as was my original plan if I didn’t have an appointment, I have written an article just as fun: an introduction to licensing! Blame the law, not me. ☞
This is not so much an edgy subversion of our conflicting desires to be loved and feared, as it is a short little experiment that does much ado about nothing before ending on a sweet note that’s just good enough to share. ☞
There are many things in life that are too short to simply be let go, for they are touches, light taps, of something so much greater. This is one of those things. I would not call it a revolution, no. I call it good, and good is good. ☞
There’s a special collection on my Itch account devoted to odd ducks, and though this isn’t too odd, it’s one still remarkable. I would have liked it to turn out better, but we live in a world where potential is cheap and quality is rare. ☞
Looks like it’s time to earn some downvotes and publish another unpopular review. Meet Momodora, an unsung classic in the indie scene. This time it deserves to be unsung, if only because it’s not fun and also mediocre. Good reasons, eh? ☞
It’s nice to have an easy target from time to time. Meet Raft, the newest indie survivial game featuring crafting. I wouldn’t make fun of it if it had an original bone in its body. You can probably guess it doesn’t. ☞
It sure is nice to live out my fantasy of kissing a cat. Yes, it’s one of those visual novels, where you don’t lay with your brood, but kiss them precisely once and the rest is fluff. It’s quite gay and also cute, but nothing more. ☞
Heavy lies the head under the crown, except for when it’s as light as this. We have subjects who are easy to please and a king that’s happy sitting in one place. None of this makes for a challenge, but… heartening, in some small way. ☞
Reader: please look at the title. Please look at it. Do you enjoy the title? If you do, you will enjoy this game. It features dunking and kicking and is overall very fun but not much else. In essence, the perfect multiplayer game. ☞
Though Jim Sterling is one of the industry’s harshest critics, he misplaces some of what he says. Using today’s video as a means of discussion, I bring up the world I’d like to live in, and compare it to the world that Jim wants to create. ☞
I like to keep my stars close to my cold hard heart, but there are some novels so full of glee I have to relent. This is one of those reads you would never expect to turn out good. But it does. And it’s as brilliant as I am. ☞
For the first litmus test of what Kratzen considers “a bad game,” we have brought out none other than a bad game, one with zombies and the mindless killing of. It’s blocky and bloody, but none of this makes it any exciting. ☞
Rounding off the mediocre week is another mediocre game. We are going to start as we mean to go on, eh? Would you like to play DOOM in a different skin and with rap music? Here you go, and go we do. ☞
If anybody wants a bootleg Phoenix Wright with rabbits, but with less intrigue, humour, or anything really, now’s your chance. To shoot the messenger, it’s average. To give the artist credit, at least it isn’t malicious. ☞
The sidequest to the game that ended up mattering, this little campfire simulator, less a game and more the developers cutting their teeth, is acceptable. It’s somewhat cool, like the stars, but not as hot as the fire, hardy – har. ☞
Here’s my view of life: sometimes you’re a gun, other times you’re throwing a gun. Once in a blue moon you play a game that involves playing a magic bouncing pistol that makes men explode. It’s a dumb game. But nobody should tell it. ☞
You are a little fish, guiding the blind Idra through cutesy dialogue and fantastic environments. The flaw in this idea is that there’s not enough good stuff to go around. It’s got a unique twist. It lends it dignity. But it lacks fundamental design. ☞
Streets of Rogue isn’t malicious: it’s just ignorant. It’s ignorant of what fun is, ignorant of the player, and ignorant of what a roguelike should be. A roguelike is an opportunity to try new ideas. It should not be busywork with good intentions. ☞
When the developer gets bored of their game, two things happen. It either rots in a hard drive somewhere, or they ship out what’s left. That’s what ULTRA ADHD is: a slightly schiznophrenic undistilled design document. ☞
What good is a magazine that doesn’t want to be read? Kratzen is one of the few publications which respects the reader’s time, and respects their principles. Our manifesto is a small sampler of what to expect with us. ☞